A quick report from Muppet Labs.
On a whim, obtained a bag of green coffee beans. Note that green beans weigh twice as much as roasted beans, so beware of the prices.
Beans into heavy black iron frypan, in single layer, and on the stove at medium heat. When I say heavy, I mean it: this is the frypan that needs both hands to move around. Window open, extractor fan on max. Stirred every minute, and then pan shaken to restore single layer. Cracking sound effects (known as “first crack”) acheived after ten minutes, stirring upgraded to almost constant, but gentle.
Another five mins and suitable darkness acheived. Sample bean extracted and crushed under knife handle (watch out! hot!) to verify innards were brown. Beans emptied into coarse metal sieve (holes around 1.5mm) and gently shaken to remove chaff.
Cooled for ten minutes, then into the grinder, and thence to the espresso machine. (But even better if you can wait 24 hours, it seems.)
Quite tasty: not the usual coffee flavour, but more fruity and floral.
The flat now smells ace.